Restoring Emotional Safety After Birth Trauma
Restoring Emotional Safety After Birth Trauma
Becoming a parent can be a life-altering experience. New parenthood can bring incredible joy and love for this wonderful new being who is now at the center of your world; it also brings many changes to our lives in terms of sleep, work, relationships, and finances. On top of the stressful transitions that essentially all new parents experience, some new parents may also be processing a complex or difficult birth. Despite simplistic cultural narratives that often frame birth as a deeply joyous and profound experience, in reality, almost half of new mothers report experiencing some form of birth trauma.
Birth trauma is distress experienced by the birthing person during or after childbirth. Birth trauma can be physical, emotional, and psychological. Some of the experiences that are often considered “normal” during birth can be deeply traumatizing. These experiences include feeling a loss of control, helplessness, not being heard or ignored by the medical professionals around you, fear that you or the baby will die during birth, or not having the opportunity to consent to certain medical procedures during or after your birth.
If you have experienced birth trauma, you may:
Feel complex emotions related to your birth, including shock, numbness, anger, anxiety, sadness, or fear. Many who experience birth trauma also describe loneliness and guilt that they are unable to “get over” their birth experience.
Have flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive memories of the birth. This may create feelings of distress or panic.
Avoid medical care or doctor’s appointments that remind you of your birth.
Experience day-to-day difficulties in bonding with your baby.
Lose interest in sex and find connection with your partner difficult.
If you think you have experienced birth trauma, know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to receive support and care. There are ways to heal after trauma. To help restore emotional safety:
Put your mental health first. Schedule an appointment with a therapist or other mental health professional. A therapist can help you process your experience and support you through your healing process.
Talk to a partner, family member, or friend about what you are experiencing. Ask for emotional support and a space to be heard, as well as practical support when it comes to cooking, cleaning, or caring for your baby.
Practice mindfulness, breathing exercises, and other somatic techniques to help re-attune your body to safety. Repose’s Experiential Therapy Studio offers many online courses including yoga, meditation, art therapy, and dance therapy.
If you have the resources available, consider a postpartum doula. Postpartum doulas can provide support on emotional recovery from childbirth, as well as coping skills for new parents.
While birth trauma most frequently impacts the birthing parent, it is also possible for partners to experience trauma during birth. As a partner, you were likely present at the birth and witnessed the pain and distress of your partner. You may have felt helpless, panicked, and fearful for your partner or your new baby. You, too, deserve help and support.
If you or your partner have experienced birth trauma, there are clinicians at Repose Therapy who specialize in maternal mental health and can support you on your healing journey. REACH OUT to learn more about PERINATAL THERAPY.