Is It Time to Pursue Therapy for Your Relationship Issues?
You’re a couple in distress. You’ve tried everything. You feel defeated.
Growing emotional distance, caused by chronic stress, may have left you feeling like you are stranded in the middle of the ocean—barely staying afloat—desperate for connection, security, and safety.
The missing pieces of commitment and trust perpetuate toxic interactions, pushing you and your partner(s) farther away from each other instead of building a path to reconnect.
Rather than throwing in the towel, why not try a different approach?
You Might Benefit from Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling if:
Have any questions? Send us a message!
The First Step Toward Therapy Is Often the Hardest for Most Couples
Science is on the side of this fact: Ongoing distress in one's relationship is harmful to each partner's physical and mental health (Robles et al., 2014). Most of us know this. However, despite this awareness, couples therapy is a treatment intervention that is commonly feared.
Some people feel that, if love takes work, then it wasn’t meant to be. However, a no-effort relationship is not a great relationship. It’s a doomed one!
The beauty of the human spirit is that it differs. We all vary from each other, and that’s why it takes work and molding to form into the right fit for one another in a relationship.
We understand how busy life often is for people living in and around New York and how difficult it can be to take the first step and reach out for support. Our couples counselors would love to help you take it and find the right solutions for your relationship.
A Proven Philosophy for Couples Therapy That Provides a Foundation for Lasting Growth
At Repose, we draw our approach to marriage counseling and couples therapy from Attachment Theory.
The fundamental premise of this theory is that we learn how to be partners, husbands, wives, or parents from our early-life relationships with our primary caregivers. Since we are all wired for connection and long for intimacy, heartbreak, abandonment, betrayal, poor communication, and the feeling of isolation are the pain points that can cause some of our most hurtful wounds.
The way our parental attachment figures attended to our physical and emotional needs shaped the attachment style we grew to form as adults, which carries on into our romantic relationships. Understanding your attachment style is crucial for lasting growth.
What to Expect in Couples Counseling Sessions
Our therapists will collaborate with you in a variety of relationship-related therapies. They may ask you to complete some “homework” in between sessions, providing you with material to read, topics to discuss, or ideas to share in activities.
We value inclusivity and provide therapy for heterosexual, LGBTQ+, non-monogamy, polyamorous, gender-nonconforming, and mixed-race/mixed-nationality relationships and couples, as well as second-marriages, blended families, adoption, and long-term relationships not defined by marriage.
Premarital Counseling
You can expect to engage in a 12-week Secular Premarital Course that encompasses:
defining your role beliefs and marriage expectations
exploring how your past affects your future
creating a plan to resolve existing conflicts
transparently exploring money and finances
honestly speaking about expectations and desires for sex
exploring existing communication styles
discuss views around children
establishing values surrounding work and careers
discussing and understanding your views and the importance of integration of families and friends
setting boundaries on non-negotiables
Conflict Resolution
Our couples therapists will equip you with the ability to engage in conflict resolution by making effective repairs during the conflict, engaging in de-escalation, practicing psychological self-soothing, and learning to compromise with one another.
Discernment Counseling
Your counselor will create a holding environment for you and your partner(s) to understand each other and decide on a direction for your marriage or relationship, whether that is divorce, separation, or one last try to make your relationship work. This is a short-term, intensive process lasting 1-5 sessions.
Conscious Uncoupling
Our therapists can help you and your partner(s) through the process of changing your relationship and detaching from your partner(s). Uncoupling is complete when you and your ex can both define yourself as separate and independent and are no longer part of each other’s identity. This process is carried out with compassion and support to help facilitate a less painful transition.
Our Gold Standard Approaches to Couples Therapy
We follow the evidence-based best practices of gold-standard marriage counseling and couples therapy approaches.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT is based on the concept that distress in intimate relationships is often related to deeply rooted fears of loss and abandonment and can inevitably put a strain on the relationship. When intimate partners are unable to meet each other’s emotional needs, they may get stuck in negative patterns of interaction driven by failed attempts to get each other to understand their emotions and other related needs. Emotionally Focused Therapy helps couples to revive their physical and emotional connection.
The Gottman Method
This counseling method seeks to assist couples in achieving a deeper sense of understanding, awareness, empathy, and connectedness within their relationships that leads to heightened intimacy and interpersonal growth. By combining therapeutic interventions with couples exercises, the Gottman Method therapy helps identify and address the natural defenses that may hinder effective communication and bonding.
Mindfulness
We integrate mindfulness with somatic awareness and tools into couples counseling by introducing somatic techniques for emotional regulation and stress reduction, identifying triggers, and tuning into each other’s body language and cues to guide communication.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR therapy can quickly help couples target unresolved relationship issues. It addresses past trauma (such as betrayal), which may be unconsciously influencing a couple’s interactions, by locating buried wounds, processing them using bilateral stimulation (rapid eye movement), and reducing the intensity of negative emotions associated with the memories of the event.
Perhaps You Are Considering Couples Therapy, But You Still Have Some Concerns or Misconceptions…
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This idea is a constant shame game. It keeps couples stuck in a rut of trying to “figure it out” themselves. The reality is, if you could figure it out, you would have already. Sometimes, all you need is a difference in perspective and some guidance to help gain clarity on what is going on in your everyday fights.
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Some couples pretend that their issues don’t really exist, or they don’t happen that often, or that the nature of these fights is insignificant and doesn’t warrant intervention. Doing this only exacerbates tension and conflict, because it results in the minimization of your partner’s feelings and concerns. The fact is, when you dismiss fights as invalid, passive aggression is likely to arise. And this just results in a cyclical pattern of conflict.
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Okay, so where do you go from here? If your problems are always caused by someone else, you remain helpless. This line of thinking convinces the self that the real problem is the other person. If you hope to find repair in the rupture of your relationship, it is key that you are able to step back from your automatic line of thinking. It’s important you consider that you may have some part to play in the dynamics that exist in your relationship.
Find Support and Real Solutions for Your Relationship Issues
It’s time to begin the collaborative work of couples therapy with someone who supports and understands you.
We offer online therapy for couples in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut.
If you are ready to make a difference in your relationship, we invite you to conveniently self-schedule a 15-minute consultation. Our client concierge will listen to you, ask questions, discuss options for couples therapy and marriage counseling, and recommend which of our therapists would be well-suited to meet your unique needs.
After the initial session with your therapist, your concierge will follow up to ensure you had a positive experience.
Explore The Repose Journal
Yes! We Accept Insurance!
Many of our therapists accept Aetna, Aetna Student, and Wellfleet Student health insurances. When using these in-network insurances, you will only be required to pay the cost of your copay at the time of service.
If you want to use other insurance providers with out-of-network benefits, you are required to pay the full fee at the time of service. When using out-of-network insurance only, we provide you with a monthly superbill (a receipt of the therapy services you paid for) with all of the necessary information for you to submit the claim to your insurance.