An Open Letter to Moms Needing Postpartum Support

Dear fresh mother,

Maybe you’re a brand new mother in her glory – reborn yourself. Stunning in your power. Also raw, bewildered, uncertain. Maybe, you’re a mother made new once more, and while this story may be familiar, perhaps, this time, it is shockingly foreign. The demands of others pull you apart at the seams. Who, even, are “you” anymore, beyond a body responding to the needs of others? New mother or new-again mother, either way, you are tired in your very bones. While your body is depleted your mind is kinetic, busy attuning to a new life. 

When you become a mother – each time you become a mother – you are changed. The person you were before remains, and also, she has become. That is to say, like it or not, expected or not, she had grown. This is metamorphosis. Imagine that; just as concretely as a tadpole or a caterpillar, you have changed. Is this change beautiful? Yes. Is it uncomfortable? Yes.Is it painful? Yes. Is it terrifying? Yes. 

And yet, when you become a mother, you are far more likely to be asked “how is the baby sleeping?” than “how are you sleeping”? It takes a village, they say. Then why, as you look at your reflection in the mirror and you see a woman in need, do you feel so alone? 

At Repose, we see you. A mother, busy holding, who also needs to be held. All you have to do is ask. We are here. Ready to be part of your village. 

Find comfort in this—it is okay not to be okay. It is, in fact, supremely normal not to be okay. We know that 90% of all new parents experience intrusive thoughts, primarily about harm coming to their child. Postpartum, 80% of mothers experience the baby blues and 20% experience a mood and anxiety disorder like anxiety, depression or OCD in the perinatal period. You are not alone. 

Societal, familial, internal pressures to the contrary, it would be bizarre if you arrived postpartum in a state of blissful calm. You are grappling with the anxiety of keeping small human lungs breathing. You have infinite decisions to make around how you are caring for this being. You are reconciling the you before – her dreams, her vices, her passions, her routines—with the you of now that has not an ounce to herself for these things. Balancing family and professional pursuits seems beyond reach. Dynamics, patterns, and pain from your own upbringing may be top of mind. You may be processing traumatic parts of birth or your family building journey. You are navigating new roles and responsibilities with your partner. You are keeping your head above water. 

And if that’s the case, if you’re treading water and uncertain how long you can keep going, let therapy be a sandbar. Solid beneath your feet. Forgiving. Let’s stand on it together. We will work together to soften and heal what is urgent – terrifying thoughts that leave you speechless, hopelessness that sinks you. We will explore what it’s like to shepherd a life. What it means for you and your identity. We will process what comes along with this tremendous shift; the demands, the pressures, the overpowering love – or the lack thereof -  in this moment. Together, we will find words for your experience. We will honor the pain and uncover the luminosity in this next phase of your story.

Remember this: you are new. And most new things are delicate in their newness. Remember that delicacy and strength coexist in a wondrous way. We are here to help you embrace both.. 

To begin your journey, click here to schedule a 15-minute consultation with our client concierge to learn more about our therapists that are specialized in Maternal Wellness and Postpartum Support. We are here to help you.