General Terms That Therapists Use and What They Really Mean

Therapeutic spaces can have their own language. You might be familiar with some of these terms or they might be new to you. Here are some general terms or phrases that some of our therapists use in practice and what they mean: 

Hold Space: Therapists typically use the words “hold space” to refer to the therapy setting, whether it’s physical or virtual. It’s the act of creating an intentional, confidential space for a client to share whatever is on their mind. The therapist is a facilitator in this space to allow non-judgmental sharing of emotions and experiences, particularly with charged or painful memories.

Meet you where you are: This phrase is used by therapists to convey a client-centered approach to treatment. It means taking into account and really knowing what you are going through and what you are capable of doing in your current situation. It can relate to cultural factors, time availability, strengths, experiences, understandings, or any unique factors that make you who you are. 

Lean into the Discomfort: Growth can be painful and challenging. Sometimes new things can feel uncomfortable simply because we’ve never done them before. Or maybe something that’s coming up could be associated with feelings of shame or uncertainty. When a therapist asks you to lean into the discomfort (or sit with the discomfort), they’re asking you to explore what’s coming up for you in those moments. These are the moments where growth and learning occur.

Bearing witness: Therapists will use this phrase in session to convey that they are there for you in session at this moment and serving as a witness to what you are sharing with them. We were not there in the moment of pain, but we bear witness through your testimony to the impact of what you’ve gone through. Your therapist sees your vulnerability and holds that space for you to share whatever you need them to hear. 

Providing a container: Think of a session with your therapist like a bottle. You can open it up in session with your therapist, and at the end of your time together, close it and put it away for later. It can be visual or it can be more metaphorical. Each therapist might have a different ceremony to the process. For some, it might mean starting and ending with a grounding exercise to “open/close” the bottle. It might look like you giving your therapist the pain and anguish you are feeling so that it doesn’t have to sit in your own body, and you can take a break from carrying those heavy feelings. 

Honoring your pain: We see your pain, we recognize the distress that you feel, and we want to be there for you, and if you’ll let us, help you to heal that wound. Your therapist doesn’t want to erase the pain. We want to acknowledge it, and hold space for that vulnerability until you are ready to heal. 

Giving yourself grace/Be kind to yourself: We are all human. There are some days when your body or your mind might not be able to do what you feel it should be capable of doing, and that’s okay. Therapists might prompt you to give yourself grace or be kind to yourself as a gentle reminder that you are here to heal. Healing is not a straight line. Some days may be harder than others, and it’s alright to take that time to breathe. You don’t have to be perfect all the time.

“Big T” Triggers versus “little t” triggers: Because “trigger” has become a mainstream buzzword in society, this can be a helpful descriptor in a therapeutic setting. “Big T” triggers are things that are linked to PTSD reactions, like flashbacks, panic attacks, etc. They are unbearable and painful. “Little t” triggers are things which cause discomfort or a reminder of a painful event but not to the point of complete disconnect. For therapy, “little t” triggers could mean an example of leaning into the discomfort to examine what feelings are brought up for you. (Similar to “little t” trigger, a therapist might refer to something as activating for you).

Grounding: Therapists will have their own practice that they prefer. Grounding refers to a practice which connects the mind to the body, and allows you to check in with yourself. It can be used when someone is feeling panicked or overwhelmed. This might look like a guided breathing exercise, a 54321 sensory check-in, or a guided meditation. If you have an exercise that works for you, take note of it and share with your therapist. Similarly, the exercise your therapist tries might not work for you. Let them know.

Self-Care: This term is used to describe something that a person does which allows them to rest and rejuvenate. This could look like vacation. It could look like saying “no” to hanging out with friends because you need some time to yourself. It could look like writing with glitter pens.  This is different from coping skills.

Coping Skills: Therapists will use this term when talking about how you respond to stress in your life. How do you move from a state of distress back to equilibrium? See our blog on Coping Skills for more.

Check in with your body: We hold stress and tension in our body, sometimes in unexpected places. Anxiety, depression, and stress can cause somatic symptoms. Your therapist might ask you to check in with your body as a way to purposefully turn inwards and notice where you are holding tension. 

What’s coming up for you right now?: There are many times a therapist might ask this question in session. It could be after a guided exercise, or after a reflection. It could be because they notice a reaction and are inviting you to share. They are curious about what you are feeling or thinking.

Displacement versus Projection: In psychoanalysis, displacement refers to the transfer of an intense emotion from its original object to another one. For example, intense fear of a person through displacement could manifest as a phobia of something else. Whereas projection is when an individual attributes their own thoughts and feelings to others. An example of this might be when someone in a self-critical mindset feels everyone is judging them.

Somatic Symptoms: Simply put, somatic experiences are how your body feels. Somatic symptoms are physical sensations which accompany mental distress. It could be stomach aches, headaches, hunger, or any other physical sensation with no medical cause. Similar to checking in with your body, tension and stress may show up in your body. Somatic theories say that our bodies hold trauma and remember it, even when our conscious mind doesn’t realize it. Somatic approaches to therapy blend mind and body work with the idea that creating new body experiences can reinforce healing. 

Setting Boundaries: This is a phrase that has become popular through social media. For a therapist’s take on the phrase, see our blog on Setting Boundaries: What does it really mean?

This list is not comprehensive. Remember, you can always ask your therapist to clarify what they mean.  

Interested in starting therapy at Repose? Schedule a consultation here. 

Other Services Offered At Repose Therapy

At Repose Therapy, our goal is to provide the best HOLISTIC PSYCHOTHERAPY services among other evidence-based therapy services to you. We enjoy working with college students, mothers, parents, couples, and individuals who are seeking better mental wellness in their life. If you’re struggling or trying to find a way to move forward, then our DIVERSE TEAM OF THERAPISTS would be thrilled to work with you. If grief counseling isn’t the service you’re seeking, no worries. We offer other services at our ONLINE THERAPY OFFICE IN NEW YORK, CONNECTICUT, AND NEW JERSEY. Other services include EMDR THERAPY, ANXIETY TREATMENT, PTSD TREATMENT, AND TRAUMA THERAPY, THERAPY FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH, MARRIAGE COUNSELING AND COUPLES THERAPY, THERAPY FOR TEENS, LGBTQIA+ THERAPY, ART THERAPY, DANCE MOVEMENT THERAPY. 

Additionally, we offer many GROUPS at our practice including an adult DBT skills group MANAGING EMOTIONS WITH DBT and Art Therapy, MINDFULNESS-BASED COGNITIVE THERAPY, EMBRACING YOUR BODY, and a Ramadan group. If you’re interested in any of our other services, please reach out, we cannot wait to work with you as you improve your well-being and begin your journey towards healing.