Teens in 2021: A Guide for Families Navigating the New School Year

The 2020-2021 school year was unprecedented. Millions of students around the world spent the year learning remotely, a process that disrupted peer socialization, changed learning habits, and created additional responsibilities for parents and caregivers. Teenagers, especially, were forced to face the rocky territory of “growing up” from behind their screens, physically and often emotionally disconnected from their teachers and friends. Many teens increasingly turned to social media to seek genuine connection; while it offered some benefits, it also unfortunately exacerbated the problem, reinforcing patterns of comparison, approval-seeking, and endless scrolling. As students return to classrooms this fall, disagreements, challenges, fears and anxieties are natural and understandable responses to our changed environment. Where do we begin to manage these challenges? And how can families come together to help teens adjust to our new normal? 

Encourage (and model) help-seeking behavior 

Since the pandemic hit in early 2020, teen suicide attempts have been on the rise, reflecting an overall trend toward a decline in mental health. When teens are exposed to parents, teachers, and coaches, however, who prioritize their own mental health, talk about therapy, and normalize the experience of struggle, they are far more likely to reach out for help themselves. Things don’t need to be dire to seek the help of a therapist.  Encourage teens (or better yet, help them) to reach out to a mental health professional early in the school year, before things become too overwhelming. 

Instill & reinforce  positive habits instead of punishing negative habits 

On the one hand, the malleability and adaptability of the developing teenage brain makes teens more prone to risky behavior, but on the other hand, it makes them uniquely poised to be especially creative, flexible, critical thinkers. The prefrontal cortex and the limbic system of the teenage brain are in a key stage of development: the abilities to accept responsibility and form independence are directly linked to opportunities for learning, reflection, and socialization. So, within reason, instead of scolding teens for spending too much time online or failing to do their homework, we should replace our admonishments with appealing opportunities for them to step away from their screens and practice life skills. Artistic and creative endeavors like painting, writing, dancing, and reading can become family or friend events. Outdoor activities and movement can be scheduled in. It is far easier for teens to put down their phones and start conversing when we are genuinely interested in their ideas. Moreover, when we share positive experiences of vulnerability with our teens, they are far more likely to speak up and speak out when they need help. We can keep the lines of communication open by actually listening to our teens instead of jumping to blame or correct; they really do have ideas worth hearing. If this feels like a daunting task, a family therapist can help initiate new ways of communicating without losing sight of boundaries.

Strive for progress, not perfection 

It is easy to assume that, when the pandemic finally subsides, everything will go back to “normal” for our kids and our families. The truth is, however, that the effects of the pandemic will linger for years and years to come. Remind your teenagers (and yourselves) that tasks that used to feel easy will feel more challenging for some time, and taking things slow is okay. Emphasize the strength it has taken for teenagers to make it this far; champion their efforts.Take baby steps toward growth and better your mental health together. 

Prioritize mental health & normalize therapy 

If you feel that you need extra support, Repose offers holistic, grounded mental health services for teenagers and families. Click here to schedule a 15-minute consultation with our client concierge to learn more about Repose’s offerings.