How Accessing Primary Emotions Can Help You Heal
“Pain is the doorway to the here and how. Physical or emotional pain is an ultimate form of ground, saying, to each of us, in effect, there is no other place than this place, no other body than this body, no other limb or joint or pang or sharpness or heartbreak but this searing presence. Pain asks us to heal by focusing no only on the place the pain is felt but also the way the pain is felt. Pain is a form of alertness and particularity; pain is a way in.” -David Whyte, Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words
What are primary emotions?
At the core of human experience is emotional experience. Because we are biologically wired for survival, our bodies are primed to respond to both perceived or actual threats and sources of bonding or connection on the physiological level. Before our minds can even cognitively comprehend a perceived threat or a source of safety, our bodies respond first. When our nervous systems are triggered by safe or unsafe situations, they send signals to our bodies. The initial perception that we have of these messages, before we can create meaning around them or move into action, is a feeling, a primary emotion. Thus, if we want to respond to stressors and triggers in our lives with wisdom and intention, we must work from the bottom, up - by investigating our primary emotions.
Underneath all thoughts, feelings, and actions are six primary emotions: joy, surprise, anger, fear, shame, and sadness. Underneath an angry outburst may be a deep sense of shame related to feelings of failure. Underneath a panic attack may be a deep fear about one’s worthiness. Underneath gossiping or harmful words to another may be shame about one’s own sense of self or self-directed anger. It can sometimes be difficult to recognize and accept these emotions within ourselves, to get granular about what we are feeling, because we get stuck in loops of thoughts and cognitions that distract us from our core experiences. Also, we sometimes stay on the outskirts of our emotions out of an instinct for self-preservation. Accessing primary emotions can be intense and overwhelming, and we may fear that if we touch our primary emotions, we will fall apart or break down.
How can emotions harness change?
The truth is that, with practice, when we know how to access and work with emotion, we understand our own experience at the most primal level, so initiating change becomes easier. Sue Johnson, pioneering researcher and founder of Emotion-Focused Therapy, states:
“The goal is not simply to regulate emotion into balance and even into a more integrated form, it is also to harness it in the service of the creation of new perspectives, cognitions, concrete actions, and attuned response to others in the service of change...To change emotion, you have to first allow yourself to feel it. Then you need to tolerate it, unpack it, take hold of its essence and distill it, and ultimately reshape it. The concept of deepening emotion captures this process, helping us go beneath the obvious and surface chaotic reactivity or numbed suppression.”
An emotion-focused approach is highly effective at healing common mental health disturbances like depression and anxiety because it attends to experiences that are blocked, denied, or fragmented and may be contributing to symptoms. It turns alien and unacceptable inner experiences into safe, normal parts of existing. It creates acceptance of one’s primary experience that sets the stage for outer change.
The safest and most effective way to process emotions in the service of change is with an emotionally-focused therapist. Repose offers holistic and grounded mental health services that can help you to accept, track, and transform your inner and outer experiences in a safe and supportive environment. Click here to schedule a 15-minute free consultation with our client concierge to learn more about Repose’s offerings.
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Services Offered At Repose Therapy
At Repose Therapy, our goal is to provide the best HOLISTIC PSYCHOTHERAPY services among other evidence-based therapy services to you. We enjoy working with college students, mothers, parents, couples, and individuals who are seeking better mental wellness in their life. If you’re struggling or trying to find a way to move forward, then our DIVERSE TEAM OF THERAPISTS would be thrilled to work with you. If grief counseling isn’t the service you’re seeking, no worries. We offer other services at our ONLINE THERAPY OFFICE IN NEW YORK, CONNECTICUT, AND NEW JERSEY. Other services include EMDR THERAPY, ANXIETY TREATMENT, PTSD TREATMENT, AND TRAUMA THERAPY, THERAPY FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH, MARRIAGE COUNSELING AND COUPLES THERAPY, THERAPY FOR TEENS, LGBTQIA+ THERAPY, ART THERAPY, DANCE MOVEMENT THERAPY.
Additionally, we offer many GROUPS at our practice including an adult DBT skills group MANAGING EMOTIONS WITH DBT and Art Therapy, MINDFULNESS-BASED COGNITIVE THERAPY, EMBRACING YOUR BODY, and a Ramadan group. If you’re interested in any of our other services, please reach out, we cannot wait to work with you as you improve your well-being and begin your journey towards healing.