Navigating Important Relationships When You’re Dealing With Anxiety

Navigating Important Relationships When Dealing with Anxiety

What Does Relationship Anxiety Feel Like?

Relationship anxiety can present itself in many different ways. It can cause us to go down the rabbit hole of wondering if the feelings we have toward a person are valid and reciprocated. In romantic relationships, it can cause feelings of doubt and uncertainty if your partner(s) is going to be “the one.” This can create a large amount of stress in your everyday life and eventually cause strain on these relationships.

With all of these thoughts going on, it can feel extremely overwhelming. The constant worrying and overthinking about these problems can feel as if it is taking over your life. At one point, it may feel like there is no solution to the problem that you are facing. The good news is that this is not at all the case. There are certain tools that you can use to ease this anxiety and help your relationships flourish.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Experiencing these intrusive thoughts about the relationships in your life can get extremely lonely. It can lead you to wonder if the other person is feeling the same way. You may tend to play out these situations in your mind and include what their reaction would be like. If their reaction is poor in your mind, it may lead you to project those negative feelings onto that person without realizing it.

In order to prevent these unintentional negative feelings, communicating with your friend, partner(s) or family member can be very helpful. It can be incredibly validating to hear that someone understands where your thoughts are coming from. Everybody needs validation in their relationships, and it is important to remember that it is okay! You deserve to feel loved in your life and we all need to hear that once in a while. Opening the door of communication will not only create a safe space for you to share how you are feeling, but it can also create that space for your friend or partner(s).

Facts vs. Feelings

Oftentimes, the anxious brain is very good at convincing us that everything we are thinking is 100% true. Let’s say your partner has not answered your text in a couple of hours. Your thoughts may start off innocently like, Maybe they are just working. However, as time goes on, those thoughts can transform into fears like, Wow, my partner must absolutely hate me. I would never do this to them, so it must mean that they do not care at all about my feelings. At that moment, there is little that can convince you otherwise.

Something that can be helpful in these moments is to remember to “zoom out” in the situation and look at it from a logical perspective. Your partner’s lack of response does not indicate that they do not care as much as you do. They may be busy with other things going on in their life. These feelings can be something that you later communicate to your partner, but it can be very empowering to regulate your feelings on your own and take control of the situation.

Accepting The Gray

When there is uncertainty in relationships, it can often feel like everything can be solved if someone would just tell you what to do. It can be a constant search for an answer, whether it is wondering if you should be with your partner(s) forever or trying to decide if a friend is worth keeping in your life. Part of processing these thoughts is accepting that you may never find an answer. Our “gut feeling” can often be questioned when anxiety is in play. There may never be a telltale sign that you should 100% commit to someone. Accepting the fact that the gray does not mean that things are not right can take some of the pressure off of your relationships.  

Anxiety is a tough thing to tackle. Second guessing and overthinking can lead you down a path of uncertainty and frustration. However, it is important to remember that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life and you have the power to create the narrative that you want. Once you are able to recognize this, you can start creating the relationships that you deserve.

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