Social Anxiety in Teens: What it is and How to Cope
During our teen years, it’s not uncommon for our world to revolve around our social lives. As we come into our own as adolescents, we strive for acceptance and belonging among our peers, and often fixate on how others perceive us. Throw in the pressures of social media and pop culture, and it’s no wonder why so many teenagers struggle with social anxiety.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is what it sounds like: feeling anxious in social situations and/or around certain people. Teens are particularly susceptible to the “spotlight effect,” which is when we overestimate how much people notice or care about us. Picture the scene of a student walking into the cafeteria, convinced that everyone is staring at them with judgment. In reality, most people are far more concerned with themselves than they are with others. But as a teenager, it can feel as though you are being perceived constantly by your peers.
Some signs of social anxiety in teens include:
Being highly self-critical
Seeing things in black-and-white (i.e., “everyone hates me” or “I’ll never fit in”)
Ruminating on past social interactions
Worrying that others think negatively of you
Frequently comparing yourself to others
Behaviorally, teens with social anxiety may:
Avoid social situations altogether
Not speak up during class or social events
Have trouble maintaining eye contact or engaging with others for long periods of time
Skip class or school functions
Avoid participating in new activities
How is Social Anxiety in Teens Different?
Teens are in a unique stage of life during which acceptance, belonging, and social cohesion feels paramount. There can also be more difficulty with emotion regulation, meaning seemingly “small” things (like not receiving a party invite or giving the wrong answer in class) can feel extremely distressing. Today, teens are connected with one another 24/7 through social media, texting, or other forms of virtual communication, which means there’s never an “off” switch when it comes to navigating their social lives. Social media in particular can create unrealistic standards of appearances or lifestyle, making teens feel like everyone is happy, confident, and having fun – except for them. This breeds social comparison, which has been shown to lower self-esteem and mood (Aspinwall & Taylor, 1993).
Managing Social Anxiety as a Teen
The first step to managing social anxiety is to recognize it for what it is: anxiety. Anxiety is our brain’s attempt to fill in the blanks, typically with the worst-case-scenario. Your anxious thoughts are not facts; they are simply the story you are telling yourself. You may not be able to stop these thoughts from popping up, but you can choose to notice them, name them, and respond to them in a way that supports your wellbeing.
When you recognize an anxious thought, try responding with one of the following questions/affirmations:
Is this thought based on feeling rather than fact?
Have there been times when I’ve had this thought and it didn’t come true?
What would I tell someone else who is having this thought?
Will I care about this in 1, 5, or 10 years?
I don’t have to believe everything I think
Only I can decide how I feel about myself
I do not need to listen to my inner critic
Everyone here is imperfect, unique, and human like me
I’m human, and I’m allowed to make mistakes
I deserve to be myself
In order to reduce physical symptoms of anxiety, you can try
Deep breathing exercises
Going on a walk or engaging in physical activity
Lastly, working with a therapist who specializes in anxiety can help you learn to cope with the unique social stressors teens face. For individuals struggling with social anxiety, virtual therapy can be especially helpful, as it can reduce the anxiety involved with meeting with a therapist face-to-face.
Services Offered At Repose Therapy
At Repose Therapy, our goal is to provide the best HOLISTIC PSYCHOTHERAPY services among other evidence-based therapy services to you. We enjoy working with college students, mothers, parents, couples, and individuals who are seeking better mental wellness in their life. If you’re struggling or trying to find a way to move forward, then our DIVERSE TEAM OF THERAPISTS would be thrilled to work with you. If grief counseling isn’t the service you’re seeking, no worries. We offer other services at our ONLINE THERAPY OFFICE IN NEW YORK, CONNECTICUT, AND NEW JERSEY. Other services include EMDR THERAPY, ANXIETY TREATMENT, PTSD TREATMENT, AND TRAUMA THERAPY, THERAPY FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS, MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH, MARRIAGE COUNSELING AND COUPLES THERAPY, THERAPY FOR TEENS, LGBTQIA+ THERAPY, ART THERAPY, DANCE MOVEMENT THERAPY.